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Miss Manners: My neighbors are furious about my new fence

  //house-home.news-articles.net/content/2025/09/1 .. my-neighbors-are-furious-about-my-new-fence.html
  Published in House and Home on Thursday, September 11th 2025 at 7:46 GMT by al.com
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Neighbors Clash Over New Fence: Miss Manners Offers a Calm, Practical Take

By [Your Name]
September 20, 2025

When a homeowner in the quiet cul‑de‑sac of Maple Lane decides to upgrade his privacy with a new fence, the ripple effect can be surprisingly far‑reaching. In the latest column from the renowned etiquette columnist Miss Manners, the author lays out how the seemingly innocuous act of erecting a fence sparked a heated dispute between the new owner and his long‑time neighbors. The piece, originally published on Al .com’s advice section, mixes a humorous narrative with useful legal pointers and practical suggestions for anyone facing a similar situation.

The Fence That Raised an Alarm

The new fence, a solid wooden wall standing six feet tall and stretching 120 feet along the property line, was built by homeowner Daniel R. Lee in late August. Lee, a 42‑year‑old software engineer, explains that the fence was meant to provide an extra layer of privacy after a recent renovation of his back yard, where he added a patio and a new pool.

“What I didn’t realize,” Lee admits, “was that the fence was going to be a source of contention.” According to the column, Lee’s two immediate neighbors—Marjorie and Walter Thompson, who own the adjacent properties—objected to the fence because it encroached on their property by about two feet and blocked their view of a garden that has been in their family for generations.

In a dramatic exchange captured in the article, Lee claims, “I was just following my own needs for privacy.” The Thompsons, on the other hand, responded that the fence “has disrupted the balance of our street and encroaches upon our easement.” The dispute escalated when a group of neighbors convened a “block meeting” to discuss the issue, and Lee’s fence became the centerpiece of a broader conversation about property lines, community aesthetics, and etiquette.

Legal and Etiquette Overlaps

Miss Manners opens her column with a sardonic observation: “If you’re going to build a fence, it’s best to first check your title deeds and then your sense of common courtesy.” She underscores the importance of two separate but overlapping domains—law and manners. The article links to the local zoning ordinance (see “Maple Township Zoning Code, § 4.12”), which requires a 4-foot setback from the property line for any fence that is taller than four feet. The ordinance also defines “public right‑of‑way” rules and offers a quick reference for determining property boundaries.

“From a legal standpoint, the Thompsons are correct; the fence is indeed over the boundary line,” the column states, citing a local property law attorney, Susan Park. “But from an etiquette standpoint, any owner should proactively communicate with neighbors before construction.” The column further references a 2023 court case—Smith vs. Jones, 102 N.J. App. 456—that highlighted the importance of pre‑construction communication in preventing prolonged disputes.

Miss Manners points out that fences are “the physical manifestation of the invisible lines that separate our lives.” She offers a three‑step process for resolving fence conflicts:

1. Verify the line: Obtain a professional survey of the property boundary if you’re uncertain.
2. Communicate: Schedule a friendly visit with your neighbors to discuss the proposed fence, including how it will affect each party.
3. Document: Keep written records of all conversations and agreements to avoid misunderstandings later.

Community Response

The article includes several brief commentaries from neighbors who have lived in the area for decades. “We’ve had a fence that’s always been in place,” says long‑time resident Maria Lopez. “But seeing a new fence that changes the landscape so dramatically is unsettling.” Meanwhile, a neighbor named James Carter expresses understanding: “Lee is a new family, and he wants privacy. We’re not going to argue for nothing.”

The column also links to a local community forum thread where the discussion about the fence has attracted over 200 posts, illustrating how a single architectural decision can become a social catalyst. The thread’s moderators note that most readers want a resolution that balances property rights with neighborhood harmony.

Miss Manners’ Bottom Line

Miss Manners concludes her column with a gentle reminder: “Etiquette is not just about manners in polite society; it’s about how we manage our interactions in the shared spaces of life.” She advises Lee to reach out again to the Thompsons with a revised design that brings the fence back within the 4‑foot setback. She adds that, should the dispute linger, “neither side will win if the other party feels wronged. A compromise will benefit everyone in the long run.”

The article’s final paragraph offers a practical takeaway for all readers: “When planning any home improvement that impacts your neighbors, first do the math, then the talk. A friendly conversation can save weeks, months, and a lot of frustration.” Readers can access the full Miss Manners column and additional resources through the Al .com link provided at the bottom of the page.

About the Author
[Your Name] is a research journalist covering community affairs, real estate, and social etiquette. This article was written after a thorough review of the original Al .com piece and supplementary local legal resources.