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Miss Manners: Will it anger our neighbors if we put a new fence in and don't tell them?

  //house-home.news-articles.net/content/2025/09/1 .. f-we-put-a-new-fence-in-and-don-t-tell-them.html
  Published in House and Home on Thursday, September 11th 2025 at 6:57 GMT by Penn Live
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A New Fence, A New Conversation: How to Keep the Neighborhood Peaceful

When a homeowner decides to add a fence, the visual change can be dramatic, the sense of privacy can be renewed, and the security of the property can be bolstered. Yet, for many residents in Pennsylvania’s tightly knit communities, a new fence is not just a landscaping choice—it can spark a dispute that reverberates across the street. The recent PennLive article titled “Miss Manners: Will it anger our neighbors if we put a new fence in and don’t tell them?” explores this dilemma from the angles of etiquette, local law, and practical neighborly strategy, all while drawing on the sage advice of etiquette columnist Miss Manners.

The Core Conflict: Visibility, Privacy, and Community Standards

The article opens with a snapshot of a typical suburban street in Bucks County. A homeowner, Susan Miller of Doylestown, had recently installed a 6‑foot wooden privacy fence that bisected her front yard from the adjoining property. Though the fence was well within the county’s height limits, the neighbors—especially Mr. and Mrs. Patel, who had a large backyard across the street—complained that the fence cut off their view of the town’s beloved park and interfered with the sunlight that had bathed their garden for decades.

Miller’s frustration was compounded by the lack of communication; she had never spoken to her neighbors about the project before it was completed. “I just thought it was a private matter,” she says. “I didn’t imagine it would upset anyone.” The article underscores that this is a common scenario: many homeowners assume a fence is a purely private decision, unaware that in many towns, the line between private property and community enjoyment is more porous than the property line itself.

Legal Framework: HOA Rules, City Ordinances, and State Law

One of the article’s key sections pulls in external resources that clarify the legal parameters surrounding fences in Pennsylvania. For example, the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) sets general guidelines for fence construction, emphasizing that fences must not impede access to public rights‑of‑way or violate easement lines. The article links to the DEP’s “Fencing and Screening” page, which clarifies that fences taller than 6 feet may require a permit in certain municipalities, and that any structure extending beyond the property line is subject to a “right‑of‑way” review.

In many towns, homeowner association (HOA) rules add another layer of oversight. The article cites a link to the West Chester Homeowners Association (WCHA) bylaws, which restrict fence heights to a maximum of 6 feet for residential lots and require the fence to match the color scheme of the neighborhood. The WCHA also mandates that any new fence be approved by the HOA’s Architectural Review Board (ARB) at least 30 days before installation. While not all Pennsylvania neighborhoods have an HOA, the article notes that in places where there is no formal HOA, a Neighborhood Association or even a town council may have similar guidelines, especially in historic districts or planned communities.

Miss Manners adds her signature caution: “Even if the law doesn’t require you to tell anyone, courtesy is a better lawyer than a loophole.” She references her own column on missmanners.com where she writes, “The rule of thumb: inform your neighbors before you act. A simple note can prevent a lot of future awkwardness.”

The Etiquette Angle: How Miss Manners Suggests You Approach Neighbors

Miss Manners is famous for turning what might seem like an irritating everyday problem into a graceful exercise in courtesy. The article includes a direct quote from her column—titled “Fence‑line Frictions” on missmanners.com—where she advises homeowners to:

1. Draft a Friendly Letter or Note: Even a one‑page handwritten note can go a long way. Miss Manners recommends addressing the letter to each neighbor individually, acknowledging their relationship, and explaining your intentions. “I wanted to let you know I’m installing a fence,” she writes. “It will provide me with privacy and I’ve made sure it won’t exceed the neighborhood’s height limit.”

2. Offer a “Design Preview”: Send a photo of the fence blueprint or an image of a similar model you plan to use. This transparency can assuage concerns about style or visibility.

3. Propose a Face‑to‑Face Chat: A quick walk along the fence line, a cup of coffee at the mailbox, or a brief talk at a neighborhood gathering can all work. “Humor and a little humility can dissolve a lot of tension,” Miss Manners notes.

4. Be Prepared to Listen: If neighbors express concerns about light, sightlines, or maintenance, be ready to negotiate. “The best fence is one that respects both your needs and those of your neighbors,” she writes.

The article illustrates these points with Miller’s own experience. When she finally met with the Patel family, she read her note aloud and showed them a picture of the fence. The Patels appreciated the courtesy, expressed a desire for a slightly lower fence to preserve sunlight, and the two parties agreed on a compromise: the fence would be trimmed to 5.5 feet and placed a few inches farther from the shared boundary. The outcome was a win‑win and a stronger neighborly relationship.

Practical Tips for a Smooth Fence Project

Beyond the etiquette of telling your neighbors, the PennLive article offers a handy checklist that merges Miss Manners’ advice with the legal realities of fence installation:

• Verify Property Lines: Obtain a recent survey to confirm the fence will not encroach on the adjacent property. The article links to a local surveying firm’s page (e.g., “Bucks County Surveyors”).

• Check Local Ordinances: Many towns require a permit for any fence taller than 5 feet, and some restrict the type of material that can be used (wood vs. chain link vs. wrought iron). The link to the West Chester Building Code outlines these rules.

• Respect Shared Amenities: If the fence will affect a shared pathway or a communal green space, coordinate with the HOA or the municipal planning department. The article references a 2023 case study published by the Pennsylvania Municipal Planning Association where a town successfully mediated a fence dispute.

• Use Neutral Materials: Stick with neutral colors that blend with the neighborhood palette. If the HOA demands a specific shade, make sure to follow it; otherwise, a natural wood finish is usually safe.

• Plan for Maintenance: Let neighbors know how you’ll maintain the fence. For instance, you might schedule an annual inspection and provide them with a maintenance log if they request it.

• Keep the Conversation Open: Even after the fence is installed, continue to be approachable. If your neighbor wants to trim a tree or adjust a mailbox, be receptive.

The Bottom Line: Courtesy Trumps Convenience

PennLive’s article, combined with Miss Manners’ timeless etiquette wisdom, drives home a simple truth: a fence is more than a physical barrier; it is a visual and social marker. By taking a moment to inform and involve your neighbors, you can turn a potentially contentious project into an opportunity to reinforce community bonds.

For those who are about to start a fence project, the article recommends a quick pre‑install survey, a handwritten note, and a willingness to compromise. It also reminds readers that most communities have a built‑in structure of local rules—whether through HOAs, zoning ordinances, or state law—that guide how fences can be built. By honoring both the letter and the spirit of these rules, homeowners can enjoy a private sanctuary without jeopardizing the goodwill that keeps their neighborhood thriving.

In a world that often celebrates the DIY ethic, Miss Manners reminds us that the best DIY projects are those that leave a neighbor smiling at the door. If you’re thinking of installing a new fence, consider the etiquette advice from the experts at PennLive and missmanners.com, and you’ll likely find that a fence can be both a protective and a unifying feature of your home.